Voting Day is Upon Us…

Hey you guys,

To say I’m concerned about tomorrow’s election would be an understatement. There are so many things I want to say. And I’ve tried to say. But I’m struggling to put everything into words because unfortunately, I haven’t been blessed with the art of articulating my views. This is problematic when I’m passionate about something. I get overwhelmed and flustered when conversing. And I vent my frustration at the TV by shouting random profanities during shows like Question Time. And occasionally throw a cushion across the room in moments of sheer rage. Is this productive? Not really. Do I enjoy myself? Yes, sometimes I give that TV a strong talking to. Do I have anger issues? Potentially…

I’m going to try and get a few things off my chest. Because it’s good to talk…

We live in a democracy. We all have the right to our own opinions and that’s wonderful and not to be taken for granted. I have friends who are Labour, Liberal, Conservative, Green… (haven’t got myself a UKIP chum to my knowledge though. They can all fuck off). We may not agree on everything, but we learn from one another and have a lot in common in other areas of our lives. My rambling point here being, is that my intent of this blog post is not to label anyone with opposing political beliefs to myself as a bad person. We all have our reasons for believing the things we do. Even though I’ll personally never understand some of those opinions, I can appreciate the different reasons we form these views. It’s what makes us who we are. And I understand that our roots have a lot to with how we think the way we do.

What I want to do is address some of the key stereotypes that exist. To ask you to consider the media’s role in forming our opinions. They are undoubtedly responsible in influencing us and fueling the misrepresentations that exist in our society. Whatever your political beliefs, the growing xenophobia; the divide between the classes; between the rich and poor, cannot be ignored. It’s really important that we address this in order to understand why some people are so willing to accept these stereotypes. Why do certain media outlets and politicians deem this growing divide as acceptable?

Exhibit A: Let’s get to know each other…

The BBC did a series of Election Blind Dates. It’s a great idea even though watching the below film resulted in me physically pulling my hair as I watched…

For the benefit of this blog post, our main area of interest starts at around 04.53, but please watch the whole thing if you can:

Finished? Did you enjoy? The current Tory government are doing well with their benefit cuts? Aren’t they jolly caring people? We ought to thank them. Cutting benefits for those in need. It’s ok though, because Toff watches ‘television programmes’. So obviously she’s an expert on the ‘lazy benefit cheats’. Who else would need benefits? The sick? The single parent? The Disabled? The poverty stricken? But look guys, the TV shows and publications such as the Daily Mail depict all those claiming benefits as money grabbing lazy bums. So they must be right. Right?

Exhibit B: People are going hungry….

The Tory candidate who is ‘glad there are food banks’. This woman’s a real peach…

‘Glad’. This lady is ‘glad’ that food banks exist. That many people are so poverty stricken, they have to rely on food donations for daily meals. To feed themselves and often their families.  The UK is the fifth richest country in the world, yet food bank use continues to rise, with over one million three-day emergency food supplies given to people in crisis in 2016/2017. The many cuts that the current government has enforced play a huge part in this. The cuts that ‘Toff’ (Exhibit A), believes have done tremendous ‘good’ for society. The cuts that have benefited the wealthiest in society, and irrecoverably damaged the less fortunate. Does this sound ‘strong and stable’ to you? Is this a positive reflection of a modern, wealthy society? I. Just. Can’t. Even… I’m leaving this reaction to Kristen Wiig…

This Tory MP also spouts May’s nonsense rhetoric of ‘Strong and Stable’ and the latest favourite  go-to-argument of there being ‘no magic money tree’ (for some that is…). In the words of Andy Dufresne, how can you be so obtuse?

There is no substance to this argument whatsoever. For starters, May didn’t even have the nerve to turn up to the live debate to address these ‘Strong and Stable’ ideologies she speaks of. And in this ‘Strong and Stable’ society, are you happy to rate food banks as an acceptable way of life for fellow human beings? ‘Strong and Stable’ sounds punchy and everyone loves a bit of alliteration. In reality? It doesn’t actually mean anything. It’s a desperate attempt to get your vote. And terrifyingly, it might just work.

Exhibit C: What about the real life Daniel Blake’s?

“It was only then that I became really aware the ruling class had a face, and it was the faces of these gilded youths who inherited the world and who expected to rule it and did”

The wonderful Ken Loach, speaking about when he went to Oxford. (The Life and Films of Ken Loach BBC 2   30/7/16 )

 In October this year, I went to the cinema to watch Ken Loach’s film, I, Daniel Blake. If you haven’t yet seen this film, please, please, please watch it.

The film is about a woodworker who suffered a severe heart attack. He has been instructed by his Doctor that he is not fit to work and must take a break from his manual labour role. As such, he should be eligible for Employment and Support Allowance as he is on the road to recovery. It transpires that this is not an easy process. In fact, it is made deliberately hard. Hard for those who are in genuine need and entitled to support.

It is the Doctor who has urged Blake not to work, but it is the ‘healthcare professional’ who decides what benefits he is fit for. This non-medically trained healthcare professional asks the unwell Blake (Dave Johns) a number of questions. It transpires that as he is able to walk 50 metres and ‘raise either arm as if to put something in your pocket’, he is in fact ineligible for employment support and allowance. With a scoring of 12 points rather than 15, he is forced to instead apply for job seeker’s allowance. He must attend CV workshops. And he must go about a long and arduous job search knowing fine well that he is not only wasting his own time, but the time of the employers. We already know that he can’t accept any of the jobs for the wellbeing of his health. It is, as Blake puts it in the film, ‘a monumental farce’.

I won’t go into further detail about the plot, but I urge you to watch it. It’s a truly eye opening insight into what is going on in our society right now.

With regards to the current criteria for claiming benefits, Loach has said he sees this as a ‘catch 22 situation designed to frustrate and humiliate the claimant to such an extent that they drop out of the system and stop pursuing their right to ask for support if necessary’.

Ken Loach’s films can be tough to watch to say the least. His focus is on socialist issues and his films depict the very harsh realities of the struggles that many people face across the UK. Poverty, homelessness, mental health, are a few of the themes that he has made a focal point. He doesn’t sugar coat, he doesn’t fabricate. He educates. And if his films are uncomfortable to watch, it’s because life in fact is that painful for many. And that’s an uncomfortable issue, don’t you think? Something that shouldn’t be swept under the carpet, I hope you’d agree?

As I sat in the cinema with the credits rolling during I, Daniel Blake, it was silent. Nobody moved for a considerable amount of time. Never has a film infuriated or devastated me more. Because this is now. This is the reality for far too many. It broke my heart.

To many, Daniel Blake’s character may not be someone you will have encountered before. But he will be someone who’s sheer frustration you will begin to share as you watch the film. To me, it was my dad. I kept thinking, ‘what if this was my dad?’ My dad, who is the hardest working person I know. My dad (who was in the building trade), who enjoyed his work, but whose body felt the effects as he got older. The man who is the reason I was able to go to university. A typical, salt of the earth Northumbrian lad who has worked hard all of his life. Who has supported his family. The kind of guy you’d want in your friendship group with his dry wit, or as your neighbour because he’d happily grit your path when it’s icy or sweep the leaves when autumn arrives. Who’d mumble a joke whilst doing it. The guy who has put in the long hours, paid his taxes like good honest folk do and been a general sound citizen.  You’ll know people like this. Plenty of them, I hope. These are the ‘normal’ people this Tory government is going to continue to fuck over if they stay in power. Put your stereotypes aside. It could be anyone. And that enrages me.

Thankfully, my dad has now retired and never had to go on long term sick leave. Benefits have never been a part of our lives because we’re the lucky ones. But the fact is; if this was you or someone you knew, you’d feel differently, right? Who knows when you might be down on your luck? I come from a close family and a very fortunate one. But what about those who perhaps don’t have a supportive family around them? Or who lose their job through no fault of their own? What about those who are left to fend for themselves? The ones who are betrayed by the system. Do they not matter? Do you see them as irrelevant? Do you not have a heart?

The Government of Food banks/‘Life in austerity Britain is ‘consciously cruel’’

People are debating more than ever about politics, because the divide is greater than ever. You may not think it, because as the lucky ones we don’t see it in our day-to-day lives. You don’t read a lot about it, because the media keeps this information at bay. We need people like Ken Loach, to tell it as it is. We need politicians like Jeremy Corbyn, who have compassion and genuine care for people. All of the people, not just a select few. As Ken Loach himself said, ‘if you are not angry about how things are, what kind of person are you?’


If you watch this clip and don’t throw a cushion across the room in anger… then I suggest you take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror:

Kwasi Kwateng is funny isn’t he? So this guy (claims to) believe Loach’s depiction food banks in his film is just ‘creative’. He’s ‘telling a story’ not really based on fact. So the food banks in every city and the millions of people who have used them or have been sanctioned… what are they Kwasi, an optical illusion of humans?

Also, what an odd comparison. Should someone tell this guy that even though Dickens was telling stories, he wasn’t actually pretending or exaggerating that the poor were having a desperately awful time? In 1800s Britain, hardship wasn’t just a tale that existed when you opened a Dickensian novel. Jacob Marley might not have been floating around to warn you of your fate, but poverty still existed. And it still does. That’s not fiction, son!

Corbyn: Top Lad

It’s interesting when you consider people’s differing opinions. People can make valid arguments on either side of the spectrum, but sometimes you struggle to ‘get it’. In the BBC Election Blind Dates when Toff announced that she can’t imagine why anyone of our generation would consider voting Labour, I did an actual facepalm. When I heard her mutter these words or when I consider people setting off to cast their vote and sticking the cross in the Conservative box, all I think right now is:

I’ve lost count of the number of people who take pride in uttering the words, ‘but Corbyn’s not a strong leader is he?’ Yet they have nothing to back this argument. They overheard others use this same line or they read it in one of the many newspapers or heard someone saying it on the TV. Say something enough times and people will start to believe it…

I’m a big fan of Jonathan Pie. His sketches amuse me so I wanted to share one which you’ve probably already seen. But I enjoy his analysis of why Corbyn is anything but weak…

‘That’s not weak… it’s fucking hardcore!”

My friend recently wrote a blog about how you shouldn’t dismiss Corbyn as a leader and you can read it here: Why You Shouldn’t Dismiss Jeremy Corbyn As A Leader

After all, you can train someone to iron their shirt, you can’t train them to care.’ Perfectly said Tom McGivan 🙂

Corbyn genuinely cares. He’s always cared. He has dedicated his life to campaigning about good causes/human rights. He protested against the Apartheid in South Africa; he tackled Thatcher over homelessness in Britain in the 1990s; he was instrumental in the campaigning for LGBT rights; he was fiercely against the war in Iraq; he opposed New Labour’s introduction of increased tuition fees; he was the lowest expenses claiming MP during the expenses scandal in 2010. These are just a few facts.

Most of us had no idea who Jeremy Corbyn was when all of this was going on. He didn’t do any of these things to make himself look good to win points with the public. He did all of this because he cared, because he has always cared. Is the world such a mess that we’re too afraid to put our faith in an individual who wants to make a difference for the good of everyone?

Image result for jeremy corbyn NME

The latest edition of the NME has Corbyn on the front page next to the word ‘Hope’ and that’s exactly what having him as our next Prime Minister would mean.

Hope for our NHS. Hope for our schools and the younger generation. Hope for our public services in general and hope for the people who are currently regarded as irrelevant and have been let down by the system. Another friend on Facebook recently posted this article Living with disabilities under austerity

Next it he wrote, ‘I know I’ll be fine whatever the outcome of this election, but not everyone is that lucky’.

Please remember this when you vote. Please consider voting for the many, not the few.

Now then, lets get cheesy and end this serious discussion with a bit of music from John, Paul, George and Ringo. If you don’t like the Beatles, I don’t think there’s any hope. If you do – remember this song as you vote tomorrow (and do the right thing 🙂 )

x Jess x


A Cracker of a Christmas… 2014

Many a mulled wine guzzled, several hot chocolates (with toppings) and festive coffees consumed, Christmas Markets attended, Christmas Parties survived, Christmas films watched, chestnuts roasted, trees ornamented, Secret Santa’s successfully completed, presents (not so beautifully) wrapped, carols sung, decorations hung, family and friends fun, a billion chocolates (and counting) munched and one very popular Paddington Bear finally tracked down and welcomed to the family…. It’s been busy, but the festive season is over for another year – And what a lovely year it has been!

What with Christmas time being my favourite time of year, I felt a blog post was necessary, along with sharing some of the several thousand pictures I snapped… Here are some of my 2014 festive highlights 🙂

London at Christmas time….

London isn’t too shabby at any time of year, but during the festive season, it’s especially lovely. Here are a few pictures showing the Capital in all its holiday cheer:

Carnaby Street and Oxford Street shining bright…

Carnaby Street  Oxford Street - Festive

A Fabulously Festive Fortnum and Mason…

Fortnum and Mason Window 1 Fortnum and Mason Window 2 Fortnum and Mason Trees

As Harrods went all enchanted on us, I warmed up with a Christmas coffee…

Harrods plus Christmas coffee Harrods Window Harrods ballet

Christmas in Kew…

Kew lit up its gardens with a dazzling light display again this year and as they put it, ‘as twilight falls, the magic begins!’ It was quite pricey to get in (£15 per adult advance, £17 on the day), but definitely worth it for something a bit different.

Kew at Christmas 1 Kew at Christmas 2 Kew at Christmas 3

Made Marras with Monty

For the non-fluent Geordie speakers, this is making ‘friends’ with Monty. Monty the John Lewis penguin.

The John Lewis Christmas ads have been the topic of conversation ever since they charmed us with the impatient little boy, so desperate for Christmas to arrive so he could finally give his parents a gift. The Smiths soundtrack also helped.

This year we got a penguin friendship plus love story! Everyone loves a penguin, so the Monty’s Dens which were set up throughout John Lewis stores (complete with Monty merchandise) were destined to be a hit too… I for one was a fan.

Monty and Me

Just chillin’ with Monty in his den (had to push a few kids out the way and step over a baby to get this picture… really though).

On a side note, spare a thought for the real @JohnLewis on Twitter who has to brace himself every year for countless tweets once the Christmas advert is revealed. @JohnLewisRetail miss out on a lot of the fun…

There were also some good parody versions worth checking out if you haven’t already, my personal favourite being:

Geordie The Penguin –

Or fellow Made in Chelsea fans may enjoy this –

And of course, the original –

Harry Potter Studio Tour… at Christmas!

Nothing says Christmas like Hogwarts in the snow! If you’re a Harry Potter fan, November – December is the perfect time to do the Studio Tour! My boyfriend took me as a birthday surprise and it was… spellbinding, actually! We wandered through The Great Hall, snuck into Snape’s Potion classroom, admired Dumbledore’s office, sat in the flying ford Anglia car, sipped/downed some butterbear… fun was had by all.

Perhaps my favourite aspect was witnessing adults of all ages, so at home in these magical surroundings. It gave me great satisfaction to hear a middle-aged woman queueing at the outdoor bar and quite casually ordering, “Two butterbeers, please”

And even more joy when I heard an elderly man walking through the gift shop shouting, “If anyone needs any advise on wands, just let me know!”

Maybe you had to be there… I should also mention, it was the BEST gift shop I have ever been to. In my entire life. So far. So many magical, wizarding accessories. So much excitement. Almost too much excitement. I must go back one day. If you have not been, you better go. That’s an order.

HP Wheels…

Flying car! Nice wheels

Diagon Alley, He’s behind you! (Snape’s potion room) and The Great Hall in all its glory…

Diagon Alley Snape's class The Greay Hall

HOGWARTS! Checking out Privet Drive with a Butterbeer and the obligatory #sortinghatselfie…

Hogwarts Privet Drive Sorting Hat Selfie

Christmas Markets…

I love a Christmas market! Luckily, London does too.

Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park is the biggest, boldest and brassiest of the markets. Yeh it’s crowded, ok it’s tacky, yu-huh drinks/food is probably overpriced … but it’s great fun and never disappoints!

This year a few of my best friends from home came to London for a festive weekend, so off to the Market we went…!

Winter Wonderland selfie Winter Wonderland

Southbank is another one of my favourite markets. It’s a lovely location and not too big, so you can have a good look around without feeling you have missed anything. The food stalls are also amazing with lots to choose from.

My friend and I work right next to Southbank, so it’s perfect for a post-work stroll! Next time we should  probably wear bigger scarves….

Southbank trees Southbank

Christmas Jumper Day

Every year, Save the Children add an important date to the calendar: National Christmas Jumper Day!

It’s a great way to raise money for charity, whilst having fun dressing up in your finest/trashiest, festive knitwear. Here’s some of our office contenders this year:

Christmas Jumper Day 2014Christmas Jumper Day Getting our festive on…

The Nativity

House parties are always fun. Christmas house parties are particularly special. Christmas fancy dress parties are the best of all! This Christmas, my friend organized a Nativity themed party. Though 3 of us were annoyingly feeling under the weather, we still enjoyed joining the sheep, wise men, shepherds, angels and bright star and of course, meeting baby Jesus himself. And what’s a Nativity without lobsters? As we discovered in Love Actually, there WAS more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus. So it would have been rude of us not to attend.

The 3 lobsters (who are apparently incapable of counting…), The Bright Star and the Angel having ‘a moment’ and The Nativity itself:

Lobsters Nativity 1

Nativity 2

Tree Decorating! Now that I live southbound, I’m not normally home early enough to decorate the family Christmas tree, so it’s important that I gatecrash other tree decorating sessions in London. This year I found two!

Tree time and ‘Love Actually’ night with my boyfriend and his flatmate and a further tree decorating session at his family home… a festive win!

Vo Ho Tree Ealing Christmas Tree

When Jessica went on a mission to find Paddington…

Paddington. What-a-Bear. Friendly, very well-dressed, exceptional taste in preserves, well-travelled, super articulate…cuddly. Just the kind of bear you would like to take home with you to meet the family. Apparently the rest of the country agreed… after the release of Paddington the movie, hunting down Paddington became trickier than I’d hoped, with many of them selling out. Here began my Christmas mission to find Paddington.

My mum has always wanted a Paddington bear, so this was a mission I simply could not fail. To cut a long and rather dull story short, I’ll get to the good bit: Paddington was finally located! Better still, I found him in Paddington Station (should have really just looked there first… idiot…).

Paddingtom Bear Hunt Padders

As if things couldn’t get better, I also bumped into THE Paddington when out one Saturday with my friends. He was just hanging out in Selfridges, you know, as bears do…

Paddington in Selfridges

But of course the best moment of all came on Christmas Day when my mum and Paddington were united at long last! May they live happily ever after.

Mam and Padders

Home Sweet Home for Christmas

Went home to Northumberland for two weeks at Christmas and it was dreamy. Met some of my friends (and friend’s babies) and got to spend lots of lovely time with my family. Couldn’t capture everything on film (as hard as I tried). My mam falling over the dog on Christmas Day, leading to her falling flat on her face in the hall for instance. Didn’t get the camera out on time and also had to show a bit of compassion/sympathy whilst my brother (albeit after being prompted) helped her up. It’s not that we weren’t concerned, it’s just she fell in such style it was hard not to be amused … she took it well!

Some of the best bits captured on camera are….

Christmas Eve drinks – After carols at the church, a Christmas Eve drink at the local pub has become tradition, as demonstrated here by the girls!

Christmas Eve Drinks

Ballantyne Bakers – Dad and I ‘helping’ mam in the kitchen. If you need any baking tips, Daddy Rex is your man. Look out for his new baking show, ‘You’ve Got to Fold it in’, coming to your screens in 2020.

Baking with Momma  Pops baking

Cosy, festive comforts are even better when you’re at home …

Oh Christmas Tree  Fav tree toys  cheeeese Mama's Cake!

Betsy is another one who can’t get enough of the home comforts.  Here she is not-so-sneakily lurking around the alcohol. She was also our best friend when the Turkey arrived…

Betsy on the booze

Christmas wouldn’t be the same without these two classics…

Christmas Eve Eve movie of choice… Miracle on 34th Street, the David Attenborough version. The ultimate Santa Claus. ‘I believe….’

Christmas Eve Eve Movie

Christmas Day movie of choice – Home Alone!

Home Alone time!

The Wet Bandits… my favourite scene:

 Santa forgot a reindeer, his loss was our gain! 

Reindeer Betsy

Walks with my brother and Betsy the pooch… Riverside Rothbury and a stroll around the lake at Cragside. Made friends with a Robin and Heron on route…

Betsy making a run for it Robin red breast Selfs with bro

Betsy pooch  Heron at home Cragside

Family Love ❤ Festive fam catch up with the lovely Pattison’s. Our game of Articulate got a little competitive…

Fam love 2 Fam love Tuco chilling

Family Selfies with the use of the almighty ‘selfie stick’. Also known as the ‘Telescopic Twat Pointer’, as labelled by somebody on Twitter… probably a more accurate description, but didn’t stop me from annoying everyone with it! According to my Facebook feed, this also seemed to be the most popular Christmas present with everyone this year!

Boxing Day fam selfie Fam selfie on christmas day

Grandma selfie

New Year’s Eve pamper time with Mother Goose… Sanctuary Spa’ing it up with a delightful detox mask!

Pamper sesh with mam

And finally… NEW YEAR CELEBRATIONS! Family, friends, food, drinks, first-footing, board games and Bob!

Festive and NY DrinksNY drinks

Bob time!HNY

Rothbury Highland Pipe Band on their traditional walk through the village on New Year’s Day and Sherry at my Aunty and Uncle’s home/grotto to celebrate the start of 2015

Pipe Band Aunty Ivy and Uncle Jim's Grotto

Well… that was fun. And now there’s plenty of time to plan this year’s Christmas (sorry dad… it’s not cancelled)!

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL – Here’s to a fun and healthy 2015 x

Happy Thoughts

Everybody Loves a Pumpkin….

Being the infantile that I am, Halloween is one of my most favourite times of year.

Autumn is here. Crunchy (on bad days, soggy) leaves carpeting the ground, a bitter chill in the air, excitement of fun activities to come: Bonfire Night, the important event that was my birth, festive frolics galore…. It’s an incredibly exciting time in general!

I like to think of Halloween as the opening party for all the fun winter games that are to come. I guess everyone does. Right…? The evenings draw nigh as the dark nights set in. But we can take comfort in the fact, what we lose in real daylight will soon be injected with dazzling, artificial brightness, as those twinkly festive lights grace our streets once more! Makes me giddy just thinking about it (genuinely).

And best of all? We kick things off with a pumpkin.

Pumpkin Love

What could be better than befriending a giant vegetable? (Innuendo lovers, control yourselves). Some jolly, others ghoulish; all beautiful in their gloriously orange way. You know what they say? Everybody loves a pumpkin…

I have many a fond memory of ‘Trick or Treat’ times as a child. Don’t think I fully grasped the trick concept, but I embraced the fancy dress side of things with great delight. One of my earliest Halloween memories is getting ready after school one year to go trick or treating with my mum and friend, Leanne. Pumpkin carving was a big event (/Turnip carving if there were none of the orange chaps left in the Co-op…‘other supermarkets are available’, just not in our village…). This particular year, we donned the giant black bin bag garment. Adopting the ‘smock’ look shall we say. Very chic, very 90s. (There’s photographic evidence lurking somewhere). It was all the rage back then. Facially, I think we went for something a little more unorthodox. If I remember rightly, The Tiger was our face paint look of choice. Ah face paint – what a wonderful thing you are. Jack- o’- lanterns at the ready, off we went!

Halloween became an arguably bigger part of my life during my student years. You tend to spend most of your university years in fancy dress, planning fancy dress or witnessing others in fancy dress, so it would be rude not to embrace the one day of the year when the rest of society dresses up too…

I guess we’ll never quite match our American friends when it comes to All Hallows Eve. They take it to a whole other level. I can’t imagine Downing Street decorating the place with Pumpkins and David Cameron handing out candy treats. Obama was always my favourite… but still, Halloween seems to have become more popular (/commercial) than ever, with kids and adults alike ‘getting their scary on’.

Halloween at the White House

‘Scary’ is not always the adopted look. Some go for the cute look. The pumpkins or the felines for instance. Others embrace the Mean Girls approach:

Mean Girls

‘In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it’. (Cady, Mean Girls).

Though recently I did feel like I’d walked into a Mean Girls-esque moment when I turned up to a 90s house party dressed as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, only to discover that hardly anyone else was dressed up. The females especially. Though Britney Spears was there! She looked cooler. It may not have been quite as awkward if I’d known more people at the party. But I didn’t. So I just looked weird. Though my turtle shell was a good ice breaker and incidentally, a real hit with the ladies. I attracted a lot of pretty girls to introduce to my single male friends. And my boyfriend (I seem to remember him pushing me into one of them at one point? Weird). Turns out I’m not that good a wing-man though… it’s on my list of things to work on.

Ninja Turtle!

In the meantime, here are some of my favourite Halloween fancy dress costumes over the past few years…

Halloween 2010: Zombie Cheerleaders. The Zombie costume has become a favourite amongst Halloween enthusiasts. Mainly because it’s very simple and super versatile. Zombie Nurse, Zombie Doctor, Zombie Footballer, Zombie School Girl, Zombie Harry Potter…. Zombie Cheerleader. TA DA!

003 113

Halloween 2010 Some Zombie’s were more focused on their next drink rather than playing dead…

132 The Zombie Hotdog? No, he looks alive and well…

Not quite sure what happened to these zombies…

178 175 179

Halloween 2012: The Year of the Bat…

Halloween 2012The Zombie Doctor turned up as well…

151Bats, Vampires, Zombie Scientists even Cruella Deville. We all unite on Halloween!

Halloween 2013: Dead (Zombie) Sailors ‘On the Town’… 

 Halloween 2013 Halloween 2013 2 All about the eyes

Halloween 2014: Quite devastatingly, I didn’t make it out this Halloween and spent it watching/not watching a scary film instead. But two of my houemates worked their Halloween magic with these epic fancy dress efforts…

Dawn of the dead        A dead looking Dorothy

Lou showing her artistic side and working the Day of the Dead and half dead Dorothy look… Busy Halloween!

Glam-Rock Witch      Gem chanelling Ola Gem as Glam Rock Witch… Channeling the Ola Jordan look from last years Strictly.

I’m a very proud housemate indeed. Great effort girls!

Hope a Happy Halloween was had by one and all!

Until next year… x




Manhunt in the Village : Think Vicar of Dibley Meets 24…

Are you sitting comfortably? I will begin… In the summer of 2010, Raoul Moat shot and killed a 29 year old man named Chris Brown, shot and injured his ex-girlfriend, Samantha Stobbart and shot and blinded PC David Rathband. Britain’s biggest manhunt for a generation began, and it moved from Newcastle Upon-Tyne to a rural village in Northumberland. My family home of Rothbury.


Living and studying in Newcastle at the time, when I heard the news that a dangerous gunman was on the loose and was believed to be hiding in the countryside, where I grew up, naturally my decision was to get on the next bus and head home. It could have been because I felt I needed to be close to my family, it could have been that I was studying Journalism at the time and saw an opportunity, it could have been that my friend Alan told me it was a good idea (surely not, Alan made terrible decisions…), it could have been that I’m just a curious person and I didn’t want to miss out on the excitement that had hit our village (FOMO – most likely).

As I made my journey home an hour north of Newcastle, a text came through from Alan: “The police have released a statement that he is now a threat to the public – abort mission dammit, ABORT MISSION!” Too late, I was almost home.

The atmosphere in the village was not one of fear and danger however, it was more surreal excitement and disbelief that the virtually unknown, picturesque village of Rothbury had become the setting to the biggest manhunt in recent history.

It is here we  embrace the Vicar of Dibley, meets 24 theme….

Armed police roaming the street, elderly residents going about their usual routines, meetings in the village hall, camera crews and journalists galore and rumours that Ray Mears had been called in to help the police in their search… just a few of the scenes.

Make no mistake, this was a major case of a very serious nature, but within the village, amusing incidents of a farcical nature also took place. Please bear in mind that this is a light hearted account of ‘When Rothbury met Hollywood’:

Ignorance is bliss?

At a meeting in the village hall, police brief the residents of certain events as they announce they’re extending their search to the surrounding countryside. Rumours that Moat has access to news updates are rife. This, naturally concerns residents. Particularly due to frequent features on how he could be surviving in the wild. As one elderly resident piped up: “I wouldn’t have a clue how to survive in the wilderness for this many days, but with all of the tips you’ve been giving, I’d be confident now. Do you not think you might be helping him a bit here?” … Ignorance is bliss?

The Sighting:

Thursday evening. Late. Almost the wee small hours of Friday. Up late working on dissertation. Dad’s up too and getting ready for bed. Faint sound of a helicopter overhead has been there for a couple of hours now. There’s a £10,000 reward for any information on Moat’s whereabouts. After changing into my pyjamas I took a peak out the window, at the same moment, a man in a baseball cap walked past our house. As I go to say goodnight to dad, I announce, “Dad, just seen Moaty”… we laugh. Obviously it’s not him…

The morning after:

Turns out it probably was him.

The tempting tomato:

We live on a quiet road next to the River Coquet. A few houses, close neighbours. One of our neighbours further down, elderly chap, lovely man, appears on ITV news the next day: “Yes, well I was awake late and I thought I saw a rustling in my allotment. The next morning after visiting my greenhouse I knew something strange was going on, because my one ripe tomato had gone…” – The sighting. IT WAS HIM! The search continued…

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to/The Great Escape:

Tensions are higher than ever in the village. Day 6 in Rothbury – still no sign of Moat. Until…  Roughly 19:00 – Family outing is about to commence. The Ballantyne’s are making a break for it. Parents are going for a romantic meal in town, grandma’s off for a week’s holiday at my aunty and uncle’s and I’m heading back to Newcastle for a birthday/house party with my uni classmates. Or not…

In a state of agitation or stress getting ready, our observations seemed to be flawed. As the car pulled forward a few meters, we appeared to be driving straight into a scene from a movie. (A pinnacle turning point in the 24 village saga…) A few meters in front of us were several armed police in a stand-off. Some standing, others crouching, all guns pointing… dad seemed confused and continued to drive towards target – thought his services were needed perhaps? Two policemen came running towards us, waving us to move back (never mind dad, maybe next time…) They inform us that they have found Moat.

The biggest manhunt in recent history. After a week-long search, the wanted man is found and is a mere few meters away from us. My initial thoughts? ‘Does this mean I’m going to miss the party?’ Grandma’s first thoughts? ‘Well I guess that means I’m not going to our Ian’s now…’  It’s times like these that your priorities really do shine through… and you need to have a word with yourself and re-assess them…

In the house we troop, aided by one of the policemen.

Image Just a regular Friday evening…

This is like the weirdest dream I have ever had:

Things just got stranger as surrealism entered our home with the policeman as he instructed us to stay calm, stay away from the windows and stay indoors. Also to please keep the back door open, as he and some of the other officers may need access to the house at any time. Access into and out of the village had been closed. There were officers at the entrance to the Riverside near our home, blocking journalists and anyone else from getting through. There was no way I was getting to that party…

Grandma, dad and I slunk into the back room to watch the live Sky News feed, whilst mum paced the house, unable to relax. She could occasionally be found in the living room, peaking out the window at the snipers. Albeit crouching, she didn’t want to get told off… Though let’s be honest, they had bigger issues to deal with…

I was conversing with some of my friends at the party via text and Facebook chat (the youth of today and technology…). It turns out they were all glued to the screen watching the live updates too.

Is that your mum on the news?

Yes. Naturally, where there’s a Susan, there’s a way…

The phone rang almost non-stop that evening. Relatives, distant friends from as far as South Africa and many, many journalists. It turns out those folk are pretty good at tracking down telephone numbers. And at great speed.

As my dad, grandma and I sat watching the news, we suddenly got an update. Excitement. The conversation went a little like this:

Journalist: “Yes I have a Riverside resident on the line who is able to see the events from her window. Susan Ballantyne, hi, can you give us any information?”

Susan Ballantyne (aka mum): “Not really. Well yes, erm, we were just about to leave the village but were told to return to the house. They’ve found him and he’s sitting on the grass with a gun and the snipers are facing him”

Journalist: “That must be very frightening…”

Susan Ballantyne (aka mum): “Not reeeeally, there are lots of armed police around. We just have to stay indoors…The police have made us feel very safe…”

Facebook chat update for Jessica: “Jess… is that your MUM talking on Sky News…!?”

… Had a word with mother. It won’t happen again… My mother, who had spent all week watching from afar but avoiding any actual contact with journalists as they tried to interview as many locals as possible, then ended up talking live on Sky News, as viewers across the country were glued to the TV screens. She doesn’t do things by halves… Immediately exclaimed she didn’t know what else to do and was caught off guard.

I told her to have a break from the phones for a while, I would handle the calls from now on and tell them we didn’t have any more information…

I now work for the Paparazzi:

Ok, so I didn’t do such a good job not talking. News of the World called (they were still big back then). Very charming man aka clever journalist… told him I studied Journalism and he offered me advise/help. Asked very nicely if I could take a photograph of the scene. Explained I couldn’t really see a lot. He persisted, discussing Exclusives and payment etc.. I said I’d give it ago. Mum not allowing me to go near the window did the camera-work, sneakily leaning at the window with my camera. The whole time not realising that Moat was in the picture, as we could only see the snipers at the time.

And that is the story of how my brief career as a Pap began. Bizarre and interesting experience – some fair and corporative journalists, some rude and unworthy of anyone’s time… A ruthless career!


The exclusive with the News of the World, showing the stand-off between Raoul Moat and the police officers, outside our home.

Stealthily does it…

Back to ‘reality’ and into the back room to watch the news with grandma (who FYI took this all very well and I think was just a little annoyed that she couldn’t just watch Midsummer Murders or Poirot…)… “Hello Love, just checking all is ok in here?” Out of nowhere one of the armed policemen appeared next to us. Not hearing him so much as creep in, grandma’s cup of tea went flying and I jumped in sheer shock… the man was like a Ninja. A jolly Ninja. Please note: If a major police stand-off is taking place outside with the most wanted gunman in the UK, please make your presence known before shouting, “Hello love” whilst carrying a gun…

Tea anyone?

The sun was going in as dusk was upon us. Bearing in mind my parents didn’t get to go for the meal they’d planned that night, dad was sitting at the kitchen table eating some cereal. After a knock on the door, a flood of police officers trooped in: “Hello, Hello”… “very sorry to bother you…”, “Those midges are terrible!”

Making another pot of tea at the time, we got out extra cups for our officer guests. Just then there was commotion in the back yard. One of the detectives had arrived, Jack Bauer style, climbing over the back gate whilst simultaneously dropping his mobile down the back of our decking (perhaps not quite as cool as Jack…) Dad was on it. Hammer and chisel in hand, ten minutes later, said detective was reunited with his phone (dad’s more Bruce Willis that Jack Bauer, but both are good to have around in these situations).

Policemen had to rush out as they got an update from one of the snipers.

Grandma was mostly worried that they hadn’t finished their cup of tea. I explained they were a bit busy…

News of the World picture

Paul Gascoigne should turn up to every crisis:

Sky News update. Paul Gascoigne (Gazza), ex Footballer and England World Cup star had arrived at the entrance to Rothbury. Naturally. It couldn’t get any weirder, so why not!?

Gazza has had many problems over the years which are known to the public, most notably his fight with alcoholism. He remains a loved figure in the North East and occasionally frequents the village of Rothbury.

The news reporter reveals that Gazza tried to negotiate with the policemen as he wanted to talk to ‘Moaty’, believing that he could help as he had met him before and was a friend. Speaking on Real Radio, Gazza revealed the items he had brought with him to comfort the gunman:

A dressing gown

A big jacket

Some chicken

Some bread

A Can of lager

A fishing rod

All very useful items, I think you would agree. Gazza’s idea was that after shouting, “Moaty, it’s Gazza!” they’d then fish together and have a chat. I for one was a fan of this idea, and to this day wonder what would have happened if the Police had allowed this reunion to take place. But alas, he was turned away… – Real Radio conversation with Paul Gascoigne

You will know how the story ended. After a six hour stand-off, Moat shot himself and was rushed to hospital. No one knows the conversations that were had between Moat and the police during the stand-off, but we know the officers tried tirelessly to negotiate with the troubled man that evening. – Sky News Report


The severity of this case and the unforgivable crimes that were committed cannot be taken lightly. An innocent man was murdered, a woman was injured and a policeman was blinded and a few years later took his own life. I do not intend for any of these factors to be glamorised or taken lightly. The murdered victim, Chris Brown, has always been over-shadowed by the infamously powerful role Moat played within the media, due to his control over the police for so long.

I hope not to offend anyone in anyway by writing this post. It is not about the crimes which took place, but more an overview from someone who has grown up in Rothbury, having experienced Moat’s presence in our lovely village during the bizarre and lengthy manhunt. As mentioned, the serious nature of Moat’s actions cannot be downplayed, but the farcical nature in which things were unfolding in the sleepy, suburban village of Rothbury, did at times seem too strange to be true. This is what I wanted to focus on.

The biggest manhunt in recent history. The Northumbrian Police, armoured cars from Northern Ireland sent across, armed police officers from the Met brought in, helicopters, TV crews and journalists, Ray Mears, armed police in our house, and …Gazza…

To date, this has been the most extraordinary thing I have experienced.





Grew up in a lovely village in rural Northumberland, I then moved to Newcastle where I studied both my undergrad and postgrad at Newcastle University. I now live in London Town and love pretty much everything about it. (Angry commuters at rush hour and the Northern line, not included).

I’ve always enjoyed writing about every day experiences/observations and that is why I have started this blog – to share some of my stories/ramblings…

Here are some things you don’t need to know about me, but I’ll share because, well, it’s nice to share: I like green apples, but prefer red grapes; I like to people-watch (but am keen to avoid stalking); my dad say’s I’m a ‘clumsy oaf’; Lisa calls me her ‘special’ friend; For too many years I wanted to name my first child, Crayola (what kid doesn’t love to colour?) – I saw the error of my ways; big fan of the cold side of the pillow; Sucker for a conspiracy theory; my favourite Beatle is George, he was underrated. I have a tendency to sound like a middle-aged man, which is funny because I’m actually more like an 8 year old girl, trapped in a 20 (something) woman’s body. The moral of the story? Age confuses me… I’m continuing to perfect the art of procrastination…

Pleasure to meet you!

Jess xImage